I took my father out to lunch today, away from the nursing home where he lives. It was colder than a well digger's ass. I would've never heard that phrase inside the house I grew up in, but I learned it from one of my father's coworkers out in the oil field. I learned a lot of color from that man out there in the oilfield. I won't recount all of those pearls here.
With my father's slow decline into dementia, I never know how many more times we'll be able to go out to lunch on a very cold day, or go to a family reunion, or get to have what seems like a conversation over coffee.
So today, with a 5° F windchill factor, we went out for lunch. When we walked out the door, I expected him to have an entertaining reaction. Here's the video below.
"Brace yourself" I told him. That first blast of wind pretty well makes a person stiffen up. I've noticed when I ride my bicycle across slippery bridges, stiffening up is counterproductive. Staying soft is the way to be. You're a lot more likely to be able to react and respond to changes in your balance by staying soft.
I suppose that advice gets misapplied to life in general. "Brace yourself. Get ready for a slap in the face. Expect the worst. Be on your guard. Don't let anyone take advantage of you."
I don't think my dad ever told me "brace yourself". He expected the best from people. He knew the sparrows of the field were well taken care of. He saw himself as one of the sparrows.
I know that dementia will bring loss for both of us. I suppose I could brace myself for it, but it's a lot more enjoyable to stay soft and laugh with him and at myself.
Life is what happens when you have other plans. Brace yourself.