At the funeral, the only time the urge to cry expressed itself was singing a particular verse of one of the hymns, How Great Thou Art. This was one of the songs my father had sung as a solo for others in my position, being comforted and supported by a community of friends and faithful on a day of final loss. Accompanied by the same organ, reading from the same hymnal, in the same choir loft that he and I stood in 50 years ago singing side by side.
I think the sadness flowed when I pictured my father singing this now, about himself, for us all to hear in our imaginations. "I'm going home!" How easy to see him bow in humble surrender. And rise with a great beaming, familiar smile.
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"
I'm sure it was the overflowing joy from my father's heart that washed over mine. That brought the tears. That invited surrender.
The love of Jesus was washing over Bill Belden, and all those around him there. The faith of our fathers.